- by Nina Nova
- – on
- in Lifestyle
It seems as though the website Yahoo Answers has been around forever! For those of you who are not familiar, Yahoo Answers is an internet platform that allows a user to ask any question that comes to mind to which the community answers. Some questions and answers are thought-provoking and stimulate educational discussion, while others are the exact opposite to say the least... Let's be honest here, this platform did help a lot of us get the answer to anything from impossible homework questions to embarrassing questions about our bodies we were too shy to ask in person. I mean, after all, there's no such thing as a stupid question. Right? These 15 questions on Yahoo Answers can definitely throw that saying out the window.
15 Perhaps in a parallel universe?
Becoming a pre-schooler is a big deal! In between naps and drinking juice boxes, the basics of pre-school also involves learning the ABC's and that 2+2=4. This question makes it clear that this person was definitely napping throughout the most important parts of the pre-school experience. Seriously, if math class was based on this person's logic, I would have passed with flying colours. Sadly for most of us, it's not.
Poor soul, I wouldn't have the heart to tell this person that math class only gets harder from there. Can you imagine the look on this person's face when the teacher begins introducing the alphabet into equations!? That was the exact moment I realized math wasn't for me. It was seriously traumatic. As if math without the alphabet isn't hard enough...
14 Babies definitely could not pull off lower back tattoos...
No, but unfortunately stupidity can get passed on from parent to child. Let us all take a moment here and be thankful that your regrettable Tinker Bell tattoo that you had done with little to no planning will not get passed onto your children. I may or may not be speaking from personal experience... Seriously, if this was the case, we would have kids running around with face tattoos and full arm sleeves. On the other hand, I can't help but think that it would be interesting if people developed tattoos throughout their life that symbolize a significant event or milestone. This person on Yahoo Answers may be on to something here. BRB, pitching this idea for my new young adult fiction novel titled, "The Baby with the Lower Back Tattoo."
13 My final form is a mer-witch!
OK, let's all admit that when the Disney feature film Little Mermaid came out, every single one of us wanted to be part of Ariel's world and flip our fins as far as they would take us. This question on Yahoo Answers isn't an entirely unreasonable request to the imaginative mind. But what makes this post particularly hilarious is the last detail in which the person casually mentions, "BTW. I am also a witch." What would a hybrid between a witch and a mermaid be called? A mer-witch? A sea witch? I can only imagine this spell catastrophically backfiring and the ending result being the creation of Ursula. Not quite the "mermaid" this person was probably hoping for...
12 Also, why hasn't my goldfish turned into a monkey yet?
This question on Yahoo Answers deserves the ultimate facepalm... Seriously, I'm talking two-handed facepalm. If Charles Darwin was still around to see a question like this, he would probably take a sharp inhale of breath and lay down some serious knowledge onto this poorly-informed person. On a side note, let's all take a moment to appreciate that evolution does not work this way. Can you imagine having a puppy before leaving off to work and coming home to a full grown Dumbo wreaking havoc!? Not to mention how sharing a bed and going on walks would become infinitely harder... The thought is as hilarious as it is ridiculous!
11 It'll probably grow the size of a glacier, too...
There are so many questions to be asked here. First of all, why would someone swallow an ice cube whole? I'm having a hard time imagining a scenario in which you're sipping a cold drink and end up accidentally swallowing a whole ice cube... It is also worrisome that this person had no one else to ask for help other than the good people of the internet. Where there's a facepalm-worthy question being asked there are sure to be trolls present! There were some trolls that just couldn't help but come up with an answer as funny as the question itself. One user replied by saying that because the ice cube is stuck, there is a tiny recreation of "Let It Go" from Disney's film Frozen playing inside of this person's bowels. Although this reply was definitely not helpful, it was extremely funny at the very least!
10 Can you be more "Pacific" with your question?
I couldn't stop myself from thinking of a punny heading for this Yahoo Answers question and I am definitely not the only one. The user that was chosen for the "Best Answer" replied with, "I don't sea an answer to your question." This reply definitely made me giggle. Someone needs to stop me from making anymore puns... I just keep fishing for them. I promise I'm not doing it on porpoise! In all seriousness, I can see how "Pacific" and "specific" sound similar. But the result of this mix up made for a hilarious question. Well, first comes the facepalm and then come the laughs. At the very least, this person avoided becoming completely embarrassed in public and probably ended up finding an answer to the question on all-knowing Google anyways.
9 This baby name is definitely unique.
At least we have moved on from Bella Swan as the most popular baby name? I get it, it is becoming harder and harder to be original in this world, but fish names for newborns? I think parents forget that this name will be around for the rest of a person's life. There are also very few ways to make Rainbow-Trout into a cute nickname... The answers to this questions are particularly hilarious. The first answer seems to serve the realness and makes sure that the user knows this is an absolutely bad idea. The second question on the other hand encourages the theme by suggesting the baby be named Sockeye Salmon, Alaskan Cod, or simply Prawn. I really hope that the second response wasn't taken seriously. #PrayForBabyPrawn
8 This person's burning question.
Many of these questions not only make you facepalm, but also have you asking a million more subquestions. Looks like this question for instance, even stumped the internet. The "Best Answer," which is actually chosen by the user asking the question, was one asking why there was dirt being eaten in the first place. I'm not a doctor, but eating dirt on a regular basis would probably explain why an arm would turn bright red and start shaking. Either that or the person is transforming into a superhuman through a daily intake of dirt. OK, I've clearly watched too many superhero movies... Here's hoping that he really did turn into a superhero and didn't die!
7 This train of thought that turned into a train wreck...
Even though my high school experience was absolutely miserable (I'm sure most of you can relate), it definitely doesn't top this! We have all done questionable things around our crush, but pooping on the carpet of their home!? It would have made more sense to make a run for it at the first urge. To be honest, I thought she could have gotten away with blaming the dog but then the plot thickened when it's revealed her crush doesn't have a dog... Arguably, the most savage thing in this story is that after all that, her crush just sent her a carpet cleaning bill. I really hope that's where the story ended and that she has learned her lesson about impulse pooping on people's carpets.
6 Oh yeah, THAT techno song.
C'mon, you can't possibly call yourself an electronic dance music lover and not know the name of this song. The part where it says, "ER ER ER," is a dead giveaway. Just kidding, all electronic dance songs look the same when they are written down. Then again, all electronic dance music sounds the same to me when I am listening to it. Can you tell that I am not into EDM? What had me both shook and impressed at the same time is that one user was actually able to guess the song in question... How is that possible with such a vague description!? There must be some secret EDM language that is only recognizable by hard core fans. If anyone is curious, it is a song titled "Wake Up" by Les Petit Pilous.
5 A pair of shades should do the trick...
Well, at the very least, this user knows not to stare directly at the sun. Can you imagine how terrified this user would be if he just glanced at the sun accidentally and thought that would cause permanent blindness? What makes this facepalm-worthy question bearable is the hilarious answer that was provided by a community member. It was chosen as "Best Answer" by the asker and judging by the question, the answer was probably taken seriously as well. Now the asker can stare at a picture of the sun until his heart's content but only at nightfall, you know, when the sun is sleeping. Of course, don't forget that wearing a pair of shades while looking at a picture of the sun would also prevent any damage to the eyes. Disclaimer: I'm kidding.
4 College life summarized in one question.
Never has my college life been better summarized than in this Yahoo Answers question. Although this question is definitely facepalm-worthy, it also deserves a giant gold star for accomplishing what most college students only strive for. My personal accomplishment is at a weak 22 pizza rolls, just so you have something to compare this great feat to. Even then, I was saying saying my last goodbyes to my roommates because it felt as though my stomach was going to explode. I can't even imagine the feeling after eating 52 pizza rolls. I would definitely think that I'm on my deathbed as well... At least farting a hole through your sheets in this situation would be the best case scenario. Con: You now have a massive hole in your sheets; Pro: You didn't die. It's the little things in life.
3 Low-budget teeth whitening hack.
Why would anyone spend money on a new teeth whitening kit when you can just whiten your teeth with nail polish? Save money with this super easy and cheap hack if you want your teeth to fall out as soon as possible. On a serious note, wouldn't using nail polish to whiten out your teeth look unbelievably unnatural? You would probably look like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. It blows my mind that someone would take the time out of their day to apply a fresh coat of nail polish to their teeth, wait for it to dry and continue with the rest of their morning routine. Imagine during a date and you excuse yourself to touch up your teeth!? There is an endless number of things that can go wrong!
2 Does it take longer for boys?
OK, in this girl's defence, at the age of 11, she probably didn't have a crash course on how periods work just yet. This doesn't take away from that fact that this Yahoo Answer question is definitely worthy of a facepalm. I'm guessing this question must have been on her mind for a while before she decided to ask for assistance from the internet community with answering it. We all know the internet can be a wonderful place where you can seek out the answers to your pressing questions, but it is also a land filled with trolls. This asker has definitely been trolled by an internet user who simply answered that boys just take longer to get their periods. Sooner or later, she'll learn the truth!
1 This answer deserves a high five and a bottle of maple syrup.
This question deserves a double facepalm, but the answer is the true winner here. Seriously, someone give this user an internet achievement award. Remember how I mentioned internet trolls? Well, sometimes internet trolls are so funny that they will instantly make your day better (only sometimes). This user went on to explain how during his travels to Canada, he has had to bring his own toilet paper because Canadians only use maple leaves instead. As a Canadian, I can affirm this to be true. It's also a good tip to be aware of the fact that our only mode of transportation is riding moose and instead of coffee we only drink maple syrup. We're an awfully nice bunch, too!
Looking for an AD FREE EXPERIENCE on TheThings?Get Your Free Access Now!
I’m sure most, if not all students, have at least a few times (or more!) during school where they’ve handed in a homework assignment late, and so as not to get into trouble, given an excuse to their teacher as to why they couldn’t complete their homework on time. Be careful not to use the same excuse too many times, or your teacher may not be so sympathetic next time!
If you’re like me, and often forget about their homework (oops), then maybe this list of excuses can help to bail you out:
- “My dog ate my homework!” – Hmm, perhaps not the most subtle or workable of excuses, but if you really do have a dog… There may be more than a 0.0001% chance that it could work?! If all else fails, you could always bring a stool sample as proof…
- “Homework? I don’t remember getting any homework?” – You probably DO remember getting your homework, but your teacher doesn’t know that, right?
- “Ahh, I thought it was in my bag, but it looks like I’ve left it at home by accident!” – Of course you left it at home by accident! This one is a great excuse, it’s worked a fair few times for me, anyway…
- “I didn’t understand the homework, could you explain it to me so I can give it a second go?” – This excuse works better more for maths or question based homework rather than essays. However, it’s a good way to hit two birds with one stone (you get help on your homework, and a deadline extension!), especially if you actually don’t understand the homework assignment!
- “My computer crashed and I didn’t save my work/my printer stopped working!” – With more and more people using computer based software to complete their homework, a whole new spectrum of excuses have been opened to the desperate, homework-lacking student.
- “I had too much homework from my [insert subject name] class to complete the homework you assigned,” – Poor you, clearly you’ve been given way too much homework by all your other teachers to do this piece! A homework overload is never a good thing.
- “Oh, I think I was absent when the homework was given out…” – You were obviously ill when the homework was handed out in class, even though your teacher is looking at your ‘tick’ of attendance in the register!
- “I’ve been busy with extra-curricular activities and volunteering work outside of school,” – If you’re doing any work or activities outside of work, hey, why not use them as an excuse for not doing your homework! It’s a pretty believable one (especially next to excuse 1.).
- “I’ve been so ill over the past few days, so I haven’t been able to do any of my homework,” – Bed ridden, feverish and unable to distinguish your cat from your sheet of homework, how on earth can you be expected to work in this state?!
- Tell the truth – After using all these excuses, perhaps it’s time to pull out your triumph card – the truth. On the occasion, your teacher may appreciate your use of the truth rather than the usual bombardment of (unbelievable) excuses. Use this one when you’re feeling especially sincere (and desperate).
I hope these excuses have been helpful, just remember that the more you use them, the more unbelievable they’ll become to your teacher. In fact, it may just be better (and easier) for you to hand in you homework on time!