Halloween Jokes And Puns About Homework

Happy Halloween! We dare you not to scream with laughter when you read these funny Halloween jokes by Boys’ Life readers. Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send in your joke.

Joe: What do you call wood when it’s scared?
Bob: I don’t know.
Joe: Petrified!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Lincoln, Neb.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Michael: What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
Matthew: I don’t know. What?
Michael: Candy corneas.
Joke submitted by Michael and Matthew A., Elba, N.Y.

A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.

Moral to the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Joke submitted by Jacob S., Lebanon, Ore.

Comic by Scott Nickel

A book never written: “All That’s Left of Me” by Myra Maines.
Joke submitted by Kieran F., Emporia, Kan.

Brett: What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Brent: I don’t know.
Brett: Wrap music!
Joke submitted by Brent J., Upper Arlington, Ohio

Comic by Scott Nickel

Spencer: What plants like Halloween the most?
Tanner: Which ones?
Spencer: Bam-BOO!
Joke submitted by Tanner S., Tampa, Fla.

Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.
Joke submitted by Howard H., Newark, Calif.

Comic by Daryll Collins

Sarah: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?
Brian: Tell me.
Sarah: The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Joke submitted by Sarah O., Springfield, Mo.

Max: What would you find on a haunted beach?
Sam: I’m stumped.
Max: A sand-witch!
Joke submitted by Maxwell C.

Comic by Scott Nickel

John: Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?
Mark: Why?
John: He didn’t have the stomach for it!
Joke submitted by John C., Houston, Texas

Sam: What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
Frank: I don’t know.
Sam: The “grim sweeper.”
Joke submitted by Sam M., Pittsburgh, Pa.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Chris: What’s worse than being a five-ton witch on Halloween?
Jill: No clue. Hit me with it.
Chris: Being her broom!
Joke submitted by Christian H., Fredericksburg, Va.

Daffynition: Pocahontas — A card game that comes back to scare you.
Joke submitted by Omkar S., San Jose, Calif.

Comic by Thomastoons

Jake: Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?
Philip: I don’t know.
Jake: Because they were trans-parents!
Joke submitted by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.

Darius: What part of the street do vampires live on?
Chad: I don’t know.
Darius: The dead end.
Joke submitted by Darius C., Columbia, Md.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Brandon: Which ghost is the best dancer?
Nolan: I don’t know.
Brandon: The Boogie Man!
Joke submitted by Chris S., Centennial, Colo.

Everett: What’s a ghoul’s favorite game on Halloween?
Francisco: What?
Everett: Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Joke submitted by Everett C., Tequesta, Fla.

Rich: Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Mitch: Tell me.
Rich: Because people are dying to get in!
Joke submitted by Richard D., Granville, Ohio

Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
Joke submitted by Matthew R., Dix Hills, N.Y.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Joshua: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Belia: What?
Joshua: Bamboo.
Joke submitted by Joshua T., Cheltenham, Pa.

Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton on Halloween?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”
Joke submitted by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.
Joke submitted by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio

Tom: What’s a ghost’s favorite room?
Jerry: I dunno.
Tom: The living room!
Joke submitted by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Kirk: Why do mummies have no friends?
Mike: Why
Kirk: Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!
Joke submitted by Kirk J., Bothell, Wash.

Tom Swiftie: “That ghost movie was horrible!” Tom booed.
Joke submitted by Zakir G., Los Angeles, Calif.

Comic by Thomastoons

Aidan: What is a ghost’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Boo and Gold.
Aidan: What is a witch’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: I give up.
Aidan: Brew and Gold.
Aidan: What is a werewolf’s favorite Cub Scout event?
Taylor: What?
Aidan: Pack meetings, of course!
Joke submitted by Aidan T., Mount Airy, Md.

Stephen: What did the ghost say when the skeleton lied to him?
David: I haven’t a clue.
Stephen: “I can see right through you.”
Joke submitted by Stephen S., Knoxville, Tenn.

Comic by Jon Carter

A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
Joke submitted by Jet S., Ooltewah, Tenn.

Jess: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?
Thomas: Why?
Jess:  It dampens their spirits!
Joke submitted by Jess W., Spartanburg, S.C.

Race: What is a goblin’s favorite cheese?
Nathan: What is it?
Race: Monster-ella!
Joke submitted by Daniel B., Tyler, Tex.

Joker: Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?
Harvey: I have no clue.
Joker: She heard he grew another foot!
Joke submitted by Matthew C., Gladstone, Mo.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”
Joke submitted by Billy J., Hershey, Pa.

Jack: Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?
Jill: Who?
Jack: The Ghoul Scouts.
Joke submitted by Jack R., Lake Villa, Ill.

Sam: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?
Ethan: Tell me.
Sam: He always goes for the juggler!
Joke submitted by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.

Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
Gayle: You join his fang club.
Joke submitted by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Bill: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
Bob: What?
Bill: It Sphinx!
Joke submitted by Eric H., San Diego, Calif.

Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Taylor: I have no idea.
Chris: A necktarine!
Joke submitted by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.

Gracie: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Selena: Why?
Gracie: Because they have bat breath.
Joke submitted by Gracie Y., Los Gatos, Calif.

A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
Joke submitted by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?
Kevin: I don’t know. What?
Bruce: The Fang-Dango.
Joke submitted by Zac D., Danville, Calif.

Trent: Why are vampires so easy to fool?
Brent: Why?
Trent: Because they’re suckers.
Joke submitted by Trenton G., Shaftsbury, Vt.

Eddie: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?
Red: What?
Eddie: Count Spatula.
Joke submitted by Sam M., Greensboro, N.C.

Ben: What do you call a kind and considerate monster?
Jonathan: What?
Ben: A complete failure.
Joke submitted by Benjamin M., Rancho Cordova, Calif.
Comic by Daryll Collins

Tim: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Tom: What?
Tim: Lots of blood tests!
Joke submitted by Tim T., Whitehall, N.Y.

Comic by Scott Nickel

Daffynition: Retreat — To get another piece of candy on Halloween.
Joke submitted by Anthony P., Watkinsville, Ga.

Tom Swiftie: “I’m not eating too much candy,” Tom said sweetly.
Joke submitted by Kevin A., St. Louis, Mo.

Do you know a funny Halloween joke? Click here to send us your jokes.

Hilarious collection of jokes about school and various school subjects.

This collection of jokes about school have a little something for everyone. History jokes, math jokes, jokes about teachers and more. Perfect for parents, teachers, counselors – and children of all ages. The school jokes here are clean and safe for everyone.

Jokes About School for Kids

Q: Where do people learn to make ice cream?
A: In sundae school.

Q: Why did the knight run around shouting for a can opener?
A: He had a bee in his suit of armour.

Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights.

Q: What was Camelot?
A: A place where people parked their camels

Q: When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
A: Because there are no pupils to see.

Q: How did Vikings communicate?
A: By norse code.

Q: What is a forum?
A: Two-um plus two-um.

Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear.

Science Teacher: Who can tell me what an atom is?
Student: The guy who went out with Eve.

Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Student: I suspect it’s around Hadrian’s garden…

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?
Student: Because it can’t sit down.

Q: Who is your best friend at school?
A: Your princi-PAL.

Q: Why did the Cyclops stop teaching?
A: Because he only had one pupil.

Q: Why was the student’s report card wet?
A: Because it was below C level.

Q: What is the only grade level you can plant a flower in?
A: Kindergarden.

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9.

Q: What flies around the school at night?
A: The alpha-bat.

Q: What is a teacher’s three favorite words?
A: June, July & August.

Q: What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T?
A: A teapot.

Q: What room can a student never enter?
A: A Mushroom.

Q: What letter is found in a cup?
A: T.

Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
A: She couldn’t control her pupils.

Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
A: Because he swept her off her feet.

Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they’re all in High School.

Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
A: The first says “Spit out that chewing gum” and the second says “chew chew.”

Boy: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
Mother: What was that?
Boy: My homework.

Q: What has 3 feet and no legs?
A: A yardstick.

Q: What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A: A blackboard.

Q: Why did the teacher jump into the pond?
A: To test the waters.

Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Student: I used his pen.

Q: Name two days of the week that start with “t”?
A: Today and Tomorrow.

Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear.

Q: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet?
A: But these are the only feet I’ve got.

Q: What school supply is always tired?
A: A knapsack.

Q: Why is the letter A like a flower?
A: Because a “B” always comes after it.

Q: Could you please pay a little attention?
A: But I’m paying as little attention as I can.

Q: How can you spell enemy with three letters?
A: F-o-e

Teacher: I see you missed a day of school.
Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.

Q: What’s the longest word in the alphabet?
A: Elemeno!

Q: Who are the smartest letters in the alphabet
A: Wise (y’s)

Math Jokes for Kids

What do mathematicians eat on Halloween?
Pumpkin Pi.

Why did the girl wear glasses during math class?
Because it improves di-vison.

Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it had so many problems..

What geometric figure is like a lost parrot?
A polygon.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi

Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.

What does the zero say to the the eight?
Nice belt. (look at the number 8)

Why did the boy eat his math homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Have you heard the latest statistics joke?

What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Gee, I’m a tree. (geometry)

What was T. rex’s favorite number?
Eight (ate)

What do you call an empty parrot cage?

What snakes are good at doing sums?
Adders (the sum is what you get when you add numbers)

How can you make time fly?
Throw a clock out the window.

Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8 (ate).

Teacher: What’s 2 and 2?
Student: 4
Teacher: That’s good.
Student: Good? That’s perfect!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Algy who?

Q: Why did the teacher write the math problem on the window?
A: He wanted it to be very clear.

Q: Do you know a statistics joke?
A: Probably, but it’s mean

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems

Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals

Q: Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
A: The teacher told him not to use tables.

Q: What is a mathematician’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi

Q: How can you make seven even?
A: Take away the “S”

Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
A: Because it had more cents.

Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals!

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
A: Summer.

Q: Why didn’t the two 4’s want to eat dinner?
A: Because they already 8.

Q: Why did the student do her multiplication on the floor?
A: Because she wasn’t allowed to use tables.

Q. What U.S. state has the most maths teachers?
A. Mathachussets.

Q. What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You’re pointless.

Q. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot.

Q. Heard about the mathematical plant?
A. It has square roots.

Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a clock?
A. Mathema-ticks.

Q: What do you call numbera that can’t stay still?
A: Roamin’ numerals.

Q. Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now?
A tummy ache.

Q: What was the caterpillar’s favorite school subject?
A: Mothematics.

Q. What did the circle say to the rectangle?
A: You’re such a square.

Q. What’s the king of the pencil case?
A. The ruler.

Q. Which tables don’t students need to study?
A. Dinner tables.

Q. What did the math book say to the psychiatrist?
A: Please help me, I have problems.

Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?
A. Arithma-sticks.

Q. Why was the obtuse angle so upset?
A: Because it was never right.

Q. Why was the warlock so bad at math?
A: He never knew WITCH equation to use.

Q. What did the algebra book say to the science book?
A: Boy, do I have problems!

Q. What did the math book say to the history book?
A: You know you can count on me.

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite season?
A: Sum-mer.

Q. What number can only go up?
A: Your age.

Q. What did the square say to the old circle?
A: Been around long?

Q. Why couldn’t the 6 and 11 get married?
A: They were under 18.

Q. What is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of cotton?
A: Neither, they both weight a pound.

Q. Why shouldn’t you say 288 in school?
A: Because it’s two gross. (Hint: 144 is called a gross)

Q. Where do multiplication problems eat breakfast?
A: At times tables.

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q. Why didn’t the dime roll down the hill with the nickel?
A: Because it had more cents.

Q. Why did the math book get poor grades?
A: It never did it’s own work.

Q. Why did the right triangle put the air conditioner on?
A: Because it was 90 degrees.

Q: If 1 = 5, 2 = 25, 3 = 125, and 4 = 525 – what is 5 equal to?
A: 1

Q. What’s black and white and has lots of problems?
A: A math test.

Q. Why did the boy keep a ruler under his pillow?
A: To see how long he could sleep.

Q. What did the spelling book say to the math book?
A: I know I can count on you.

Q. Why was the geometry book so adorable?
A: Because it had acute angles.

Q. Why did the student eat her math homework?
A: Because she heard it was a piece of cake.

Q. When I ask this question, I want you to answer quickly. How much is 5 plus 3?
A: I said I wanted you to answer “Quickly”

Q. How can you make 1 dime equal 20-cents?
A: By placing it in front of the mirror.

Q. What table can’t you eat at?
A: The multiplication table.

Q. What did the calculator say to the girl?
A: I’ll solve all your problems!

Q. What part of your body solves Math problems?
A: Your add-em’s apple.

Q. What was the weather like when the right angle went swimming?
A: It was 90 degrees.

Q. How many women were born in the year 2008?
A: None, only babies were born?

Q. What do inches follow?
A: The ruler.

Q: What do you get when you add 4 apples and 2 apples?
A: A 2nd grade math problem.

Q. What did the girl say to her math book?
A: Some day, you’re going to have to solve your own problems.

Q. Why is glue bad at Math?
A: It always gets stuck on the problems.

Q. What’s snack is the most popular among teachers in Maine?
A: Whoopie Pi.

Q. Why was the snake so good at math?
A: He was an Adder.

Q.How do you make one vanish?
A. Add a ‘G’ to the beginning and it’s gone.

Q. What tool do you use in math?
A: Multi-plyers.

Q. What kind of tree do math teachers like most?
A: Geome-tree

Q. What did the circle tell on the tangent line?
A: Because it kept touching him.

Q. What is the most popular dessert for teachers in Georgia?
A: Peach pi.

Q. Why was the boy searching for after a rain storm?
A: He heard it rained an inch and three quarters — and was looking for the three quarters!

Q. When is a fraction not a fraction?
A: When it’s a whole.

Q. What gets bigger the more you take away?
A: A hole.

Q. How many times can you take 5 from 25?
A: Once. After that, you would be taking 5 from 20.

Q. If you have 50-cents in one pocket and $1 in the other, what do you have?
A: Enough to buy ice cream.

Q: Why did the two 4’s skip dinner?
A: They already 8.

Q. What is the difference between an old dime and a new nickle?
A: 5 cents.

Q. What are ten things you can always count on?
A: Your fingers.

Q. What do you get when you cross a person with a calculator?
A: Someone you can always count on.

Q. What are 20 things you can always count on?
A: Your fingers and toes.

Q. If 2’s company and 3’s a crowd, the what is 4 and 5?
A: 4 and 5 is 9.

Q. How do a cows add?
A: With cow-culators.

Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic around lions?
A: Because if you add 4 and 4 you get ate.

I ate and ate ’til I got sick on the floor. 8 times 8 is 64. Urrp.

Q: Where do math teachers go on New Year’s Eve?
A: Times Square

Q: Why did the geometry teacher miss class?
A: Because he sprained his angle.

Q. How do cows reach sums?
A: By adding one number to an udder one.

Q: What do you call two friends who love math?
A: Algebros

Q. How many seconds are there in a year?
A: 12 – January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd…

Q. Why was 8 not friends with 3?
A: Because 3 was odd.


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